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On Writing and Life

Monthly Archives: October 2015

Thoughts on “Wisdom”

27 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by Sandie Tillery in Reflections on Life

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Role Models, Spiritual Growth, Wisdom

John stands fast on the small platform of people I know who possess wisdom. He’s my spouse, my partner and my friend, my counterpoint and my complement. We have lived life together with all the bumps and bruises to show for our sometimes rough and rugged journey. Above all, John has kept us centered with his good common sense and wisdom gained through a lifetime of vigorous physical and mental labor, as a leader of leaders, as “an ambassador of hope” for families in crisis.

Perhaps the hallmark of wise men and women is their ability to listen. Ernest Hemingway said, “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” This is true. I’m reminded often of that old commercial for an investment firm, “When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen.” Listening well is a defining quality of the wise, for when they finally speak, their words and ideas inspire and motivate others to think and behave differently.

The Bible says, “Is not wisdom found among the aged?” (Job 12:12-13) In other verses  elders are instructed to teach the younger and that the younger should respect and honor their elders. At work during one day in John’s 40-year career, one of his co-workers called him Moses to much head bobbing from  others nearby. John leads with care and a wealth of knowledge, but most importantly from a well of wisdom. John listens.

Listening requires patience. Listening demands discipline. Listening takes time. Listening takes self-control and humility, the desire and ability to believe that others have something valuable to contribute, and have a need and right to be heard. Then, having listened well, having considered carefully, having weighed the many points of view and well-spoken thoughts, the wise one speaks, or doesn’t.

“Grey hair is a crown of splendor,” says Proverbs 16:31. I have known some very wise young folks to whom I give undivided attention. And it is worth stating that not everyone with grey hair possesses wisdom. But, wisdom does present itself more often in those seasoned seniors who have chosen to pay attention, live generously and compassionately, enjoy listening to the ideas of others, and who continue to learn as they grow older yet.  John wears his regal crown while he listens well; and then, when necessary, he speaks…and others listen.
―

The Road Taken

20 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by Sandie Tillery in Writing

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Finding Passion, Writing Process

Decades of writing experience only define me as a writer, not an expert at writing. I have been blessed. Opportunities have come to me. I have not been a ravenous, desperate journalist needing to make my name and my way. Although very good college instructors and early experiences as a student writer and stringer for local news outlets allowed me to research, investigate, soar and plummet, I never developed that Geraldo Rivera passion to “get the dirt” or pursue the story behind the story.

A woman who came of age in the late ’60s and early ’70s, I confess I ran the sidelines of the big issues of the times. It was a good place for a reporter, not a popular place from the point of view of the radicals who loudly and passionately wanted everyone to jump onto their bandwagons, especially on college and university campuses.  My liberal upbringing, laced with good moral values, taught me to love people more than their causes. Hard-hitting investigative reporters can’t be too compassionate. I was…too compassionate, loving everyone, reluctant to press too hard, uneasy writing about the worst in our society.

I did get my degree with high grades in journalism from a state college fomenting with controversy in 1972, a hotbed of radical thought and actions. I had married a wonderful conservative man who must have been dazzled by my blond beauty. We were so very different, he in his three-piece suit traveling to the business district downtown while I put on my clogs and shawl for the bus trip uptown where we student journalists were being sent out to cover the challenging times in front of us.

My husband and I shared one great passion…hurting children. So, from suits and shawls to hiking boots and flannel shirts, we began a journey in which our educations became tools to rescue and help children in ways we never dreamed. That is a story for another time. Let this be the summation of my writer’s tale to date: I write passionately, but more from a place of victory than from defeat. I have contributed for many years to a magazine entitled “Enjoy!” It is all about the best of the region in the world where I live. It sums up the place I have come to as a writer.

There is much to celebrate in this world. I choose to pursue the best in people, write about solutions, not problems, explore the goodness of God, and try to bring a word of hope to the hopeless. I am still learning how to write so my words make a difference, not waves; how to say something that will being clarity and transformation to others’ lives in the midst of confusion and chaos, to choose a better road to travel.

Historical Perspectives

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by Sandie Tillery in Reflections on Life

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Heritage, Memories

A Cowboy Heritage

A Cowboy Heritage

I’m reflecting on family connections in a new way today. This summer we attended a first ever family reunion for my mother’s side of the family. What a surprise to see our faces in old family photos in someone else’s albums! I had saved a few of theirs from my mother’s collection of old photos when she died so many years ago. At long last we not so distant relatives came face to face, surprised by resemblances, shocked by aging changes, delighted to share old stories and tell new ones.

The disconnect came about when both my mother and her father died in the same year. Our “cowboy” grandpa had really been our only link to that side of the family. My mother’s mother died shortly after giving birth and the baby had been shuffled from relative to relative for the first few years. She eventually became the responsibility of her grandmother who did her best to raise a reportedly feisty girl who grew into a beautiful and “scrappy” teen, according an estranged step-sister who told us some favorite stories of our mother’s young adult antics.

We visited our grandfather on the southeastern Montana ranch a few times when we were young. Grandpa visited us once a year at Christmas, descending from the train with his leather belt and silver buckle slung low below his beer belly and walking with legs bowed by numberless years of riding the range. Once I was invited to spend a summer on the ranch when I was 15. I’m pretty sure my grandfather hoped to marry me off to a cowboy before the end of the summer. It didn’t work.

As we five siblings grew into adulthood our fractured family and personal pursuits overshadowed our diminishing relationships. I was only 25 when my grandpa died and then our mother passed away suddenly three months later. Even then it didn’t occur to us that something had been severed. Not until the past year.

My youngest sister has felt the loss of family connections to our mother’s family the most acutely. She was only 12 when our mother died. When she asked and I began to dig, we found a cousin of our mother’s and began a correspondence. At last, my two sisters had a face-to-face with this cousin and another invited to join the mini reunion. Thus the family reunion became a plan and a reality.

From that wonderful reconnection with our grandfather’s clan, a new interest and connection with our grandmother’s family began to take shape. Now we enjoy a flurry of Facebook and email communication with people who live all over the US and who share our ancient history, have added us to their expanding genealogies and who have embraced us as eagerly as we have sought them out. We look alike, share similar interests and talents. We all have stories of tragedy and triumph, joy and sadness. I so love hearing about their life journeys, commiserating when our lives mirror each others, rejoicing in their accomplishments and they in mine, and learning more about our mother and why she became the person we grew up knowing.

I didn’t realize how wonderful this connection could be or what I had been missing all these years. Now I know. This feels right…connected to my past and my present through the diverse family that shares it with me.

Joy is a Choice

13 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by Sandie Tillery in Reflections on Life

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Finding Passion, Good Choices

Coffee on my back patio sets the stage for most days. A joyous, raucous concert of rising and falling bird song delights me. Squirrels travel and chatter along the overhead highway of interlaced oak branches that bracket a view of the western mountains. I meditate and reflect in those moments trying to block out the list of “to-dos” that attempt to squander away my morning peace. It is in those precious always too brief moments that my spirit revels in the beauty of life, the fullness of the my blessings and the treasure of family and friends.

Life inevitably unwinds us into busyness. Those early moments when I claim joy as my halo, my crown of identity, allow me to walk through the day with a sense of transcendence, a calm sense of sanctuary even when assaulted with trials and unforeseen challenges. As one who tends to live passionately, establishing joy as my framework early in the day keeps me in balance, prevents breakdowns or emotional faceplants. I’m choosing to create a place of peace about me…in my home, in my car, in the space that surrounds me. It is very difficult to be unhappy, unsettled, overwhelmed when peace and joy have settled into my whole being.

Grey clouds of depression and discouragement inevitably will threaten. I wish I could say that I have perfected the morning routine of claiming joy, brushing away the insidious thoughts that steal away my peace. It is like so many things in life that require discipline. It requires purposeful practice. On cold and rainy days, a cozy place on my living room sofa with my Bible open on my lap offers the same opportunity to choose joy rather than fussing, peace rather than fretting. I sometimes forget, rush into the day full charge ahead. Danger looms. Sometimes I can muscle through on my own strength. It is exhausting.

Then comes another morning fresh and new…another day to choose. I choose JOY.

Learning the Ropes…A Beginners Course in “How To Get Read”

06 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by Sandie Tillery in Writing

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Writing Process

That’s just where I am. I’ve been harnessed in. Now I’m ready to tackle the course. I simply have to keep my eyes on the next handhold and step out on the narrow bridge to the next platform. I have two wonderful coaches helping me along the journey of writing and getting published. Thonie continues to do the hard work of publicizing herself as a writer with two books published and the third being refined. She is coaching me in the fine points of becoming a part of the writers’ community both locally and further afield. She gives me assignments to tackle in both the writing of my manuscript and in “building my platform.”

Jeremiah is my technology coach. He also gives me assignments. As he is dealing with a rank amateur, he has to speak gently giving bite-sized instruction so I don’t panic in these beginning stages. It’s all about “building my brand,” he says.

What about the great idea I have been nurturing and the inspirational thoughts I want to put on paper (or a screen) for others to read? That’s really all I wanted to do. Knock me over with a noodle! I have so much to learn. Writing my book is such a small part of becoming an author whose works bless the shelves of book stores and make the Best Sellers list on Amazon.com.

Today I began to study the tutorials Jeremiah recommended in order to improve and upgrade my internet presence. Oh my… Accidentally, I read an article by a very successful journalist who says she still has to work hard at keeping her branding relevant, unique and intriguing in a crowded field of writers trying to do the same.

The whole process can be suffocating. But the members of the peanut gallery who have encouraged me to continue, my steadfast friends and family and my coaching staff spur me on to take the next step, grab the next rope on the course…and swing out. Going back is not an option.

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Recent Posts

  • Jazmyn’s Journal
  • A Slice of Life
  • Old Dog, New Tricks
  • Whence Comes Inspiration
  • “Live Well for the Master”

Recent Comments

Barbara Bryant on A Slice of Life
Sandie Tillery on A Slice of Life
Thonie Hevron on A Slice of Life
tea4katie on Whence Comes Inspiration
Sandie Tillery on Whence Comes Inspiration

Archives

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